After nine years in Finland, one language test, several hundred euros in payment, and 13 months of waiting, we were granted Finnish citizenship. More specifically, our children and I got the citizenship. My husband, the force behind us moving abroad, still does not speak Finnish 🙂
My decision to apply for citizenship was a rational one. We have been living in Finland long enough that our children are being socialised into the Finnish system, and we don’t really think about moving away anytime soon. With the governments tightening the migration policies and legislation, we felt it was the right move to make. Not to mention that the younger one dreams of representing Finland in football and the older one wishes to become a famous Finnish writer 🙂
​Despite the rational choice, the feeling when I opened the decision-related email was not exactly a thrilled one. I felt sort of sad, sort of empty. It felt surreal and unbelievable. Mostly due to the fact that I miss the internalised feeling of Finnishness.
​Till today, when we are on holiday abroad and we are being asked where we are from, I am the one who naturally responds: “From Slovakia.” I guess it’s not fully true anymore. Linking the internal feeling of where I belong with what the paper says will certainly be a lifelong journey.
​I perhaps also feel like betraying something or someone. As if with the new citizenship gained, we are giving up something. Possibly our connections, roots, and parts of our lives. It’s also not entirely true, but there was something triggered in me that I might not necessarily understand.
​Am I thankful that the application went successfully? Sure, I am. Am I completely happy about it? Well, not really. As with everything, this is also a process. I can only take one step at a time. Maybe a year from now, or 5 years from now, the feeling will be different.
​For the time being, I can only take my Finnish friend’s advice seriously: “Please do not become like a typical Finn. Still say hello to people and smile.”  I will continue doing that – with the Finnish passport or without 🙂
