I was in love with Finland before meeting my Finnish wife

Matias Tuxen’s expat story begins in his home country, Argentina, while writing a bachelor’s thesis on bullying and cyberbullying. Getting inspired by the good examples from Finland on dealing with these social phenomena, he starts admiring the Nordic country. Soon after, he meets his wife-to-be, who is Finnish. Matias gets into learning the language and eventually moves to Helsinki with the realistic evaluation from his wife: “This is not going to be easy for you.”

But you would have to speak with Matias – the optimist. The always positive and open-minded person. Nothing prevents him from seeing every turn as a new, exciting opportunity. Even now, when the young family will exchange Finland for Thailand, at least for several years. 

“I’m with a foot here, and I have my other foot in another country because we are moving in the summer. Helsinki is here in my heart. We’ll always come back here. Yeah, it is a journey. But I love change. I see things like options. I want to continue with my freelancing job, and I can always try something new, establish new social relationships, and new opportunities. We are changing all the time, whether you see it or not. Change is the essence of our development.”

Matias is a psychologist by education and, unlike many of us, he found his first job in Finland smoothly. Starting as an instructor in the school afternoon club, moving to be a teacher’s assistant, and later establishing his coaching business supporting expats in their integration process. He admits that moving to Finland was not as difficult as his wife predicted. He had known, to some level, the culture, the language, and he already had some friends here. But he also managed his expectations.

“My professional path started “low”. I didn’t come to Finland with the idea to work as a psychologist. I knew that it was going to be difficult. I was like, okay, I will start here and then let’s see what happens. My target at the beginning was learning the language much better. I love working with children, and I also did voluntary activities like a Spanish Club in Familia ry. However, at some point, I needed a change, and I wanted to work in something more related to my skills.”

Matias opened his freelancing company, admitting that without his wife’s steady income, this would have been difficult. When starting the company, there are many things to be taken care of – the website, the marketing, the product content, networking, getting clients… At the end of the month, there is no certainty that you will have enough income to pay your bills. 

“I remember the first six months, it was stressful. I went to sleep, and the head was going and going and going and rushing and thinking and overthinking and then in the moment when I had some clients and started doing some workshops, everything started to be more settled. But I still do some teaching or advertising jobs. The coaching itself wouldn’t be enough…”

He loves coaching, and that’s why I asked him what the first advice would be to give when someone starts a new life in a new country. 

“I think that the most important thing is to maintain a routine. Not cutting it. There shouldn’t be something so disruptive in your life that you move from A to B, and then it is only B. When you are moving, it is like going from A to B by train, but psychologically it’s a process of reconstructing yourself and your life. You should be able to have AB instead of B only. Maintain both -the A you  already have, and the B is the unknown.”

Matias’s original plan was to help people with relocation to Finland. The majority of his current customers are expats already living in the country, who do not feel like a part of the society. From Matias’s perspective, belonging is a more spiritual thing than material. It’s not about having a house in the country, but being aligned with yourself and your inner compass. He believes we are all interconnected somehow. The way we approach people, they will approach us. 

“I don’t like this attitude when people say, Ooo, Finns are not good. They are introverts. They don’t speak. They are racists. They don’t give me a job. I don’t like it when people complain. And that’s why I said that the most important thing is your attitude and perspective in approaching things.”

Coming to Finland from Argentina, with a very different culture, I was wondering if there has been something challenging for Matias in his expat life. The answer was short and clear: “Planning every social gathering in the calendar. I hate it, but I live with it. I’m spontaneous, naturally spontaneous. I cannot arrange meetings two months beforehand. I will just write hey, let’s meet for lunch or drinks. Obviously, my wife is different, and we have a family calendar.” (laughing)

Keeping the social networks alive is also crucial for building small communities. Matias has been involved as a volunteer in Familia ry – NGO supporting bi-cultural families in Finland. He runs activities for children and families whose mother language is Spanish. As he said, “We Argentinians, we love to talk. Sometimes we speak only to hear ourselves.” 

After this joke, we were both laughing because the energy Matias has is obvious. It’s not only him being chatty, but I could see the true love for language, words and stories. He is currently writing a book on change and planning his next relocation to Thailand. I am sure both are going to be a success.